


A Drop In The Ocean

by starfish_pond



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-04
Updated: 2015-09-22
Packaged: 2018-04-18 23:40:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4724525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starfish_pond/pseuds/starfish_pond
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Post Avengers 1 Movie) Loki is imprisoned at SHIELD while the Avengers decide what to do with him. Darcy Lewis happens upon him there and just might be the key to his redemption...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The afternoon was winding down to evening as Darcy Lewis made her way past the security guards at the entrance and down into the lower levels of the SHIELD base currently set up in New Mexico. Their little temporary stake-out had become permanent with Thor and Loki's recent return to their realm—something they were trying to desperately keep under wraps from the human population, hence the base in the middle of the desert.

At first, it had been kindof charming, but after so long the heat was getting to her. She missed her home back north, where they had proper winters complete with plenty of snow. Here even mid-December, the faintest chill to the air was the only tangible hint of the change in seasons.

"Darcy, thank you so much!" Jane greeted her with a warm hug as she took over some of the stack of papers Darcy'd been bringing down to her. She'd become much more lively, affectionate and happy since Thor's return. It was wonderful to see, though a tiny part of Darcy didn't want to admit it made her feel jealous, and a little bit lonely.

What she wouldn't give for her own perfect man to just fall out of the sky into her lap.

Oh well. As it was, she couldn't really complain. Jane's research was going well, and the two of them were working so closely with SHIELD that Darcy had even managed to get a pay raise and a shiny new security clearance badge.

Of course, it meant she couldn't tell anyone in the outside world what it was that she did, but no one would care anyways. The stuff that fascinated Jane was enough to put most normal Earth mortals to sleep. Darcy had even had trouble with it at first, but Jane's infectious excitement and dedication to her goals had helped to get Darcy to join her cause. A little bit.

"Miss Lewis, you are too kind." Thor, ever the polite gentleman, stepped over behind Jane and pulled the pile of papers out of her fingers effortlessly in one hand, wrapping his free arm around her waist and pulling her close.

Darcy rolled her eyes as the two got wrapped up in yet another kiss. She'd never figured Jane to be so open with her affections, but then she supposed finding the most perfect man ever would make any woman want to shout it from the rooftops.

Darcy stepped away, pulling her backpack closer to her chest as she moved down the metal steps into the lab and office they'd set up for the two of them.

After the near-apocalypse that Thor's brother had caused, they'd designed an ultra-new fancy, escape proof glass pod that they'd decided to lock him away in until they decided what could be done with him. They might have killed him outright if Thor hadn't pleaded so insistently for his brother's life.

Even now, Thor had moved into living quarters on the base with Jane, so he could be closer to his brother and help to find some sort of resolution to the situation. Darcy wasn't sure such a thing was possible, but it wasn't her department. She had other things on her mind.

Setting up on her computer, she pulled up her thesis and messed with the latest sentence she'd typed into the word document. She'd changed her focus from political science to include international relations. The subject was fascinating in practice but so dull in theory that finishing up her paper was like pulling teeth.

Knowing she wouldn't get very far today, yet again, she glanced up just as Jane moved over to her.

"If you have the time, could you put this into the program? I did some extra calculations late last night that I think could help if we can get it all to come together just right."

"Not a problem."

"You're a gem."

"I'll remember that next time I forget to bring you coffee."

"Mmhmm." She grinned before returning to her notes, her mind obviously running a mile a minute as she worked on new calculations for the Einstein-Rosen bridge. Despite Thor having rejoined her, she was still desperate to figure it out. A scientist faced with a mystery, she just had to unravel it and understand it.

Darcy smiled and returned to her work.

After several hours of mulling around, adding two paragraphs and then deleting one, she pushed away from her computer in frustration and glanced at the clock. Just about lunchtime.

Just as she had that thought, Thor burst into the room with an absurdly large platter of food, carrying it over to Jane and motioning Darcy over with a wave. Steve, Natasha and Clint followed in his wake, the latter two looking bored but still moving in to grab some of the food he'd nabbed from the kitchens.

"Hey Darce, how's the writing going?"

Steve sat down next to her, sneaking a peek at her laptop before she slammed it closed.

When they'd first met, she'd nearly scared him off with her appreciation of his man-parts, her sexy nicknames for him and her utter straightforwardness. Something the man from the past had never learned how to deal with.

Eventually though, he'd figured out she was playing with him, and she'd grown on him. She had a habit of doing that to people.

"It's going well enough not to worry about it."

"Pie?"

Thor handed her a plate piled high with food, obviously under the misguided notion that she hadn't eaten in weeks considering the amount of food present. Atop it all was a whole pie. Not a slice. A whole pie.

"Are you crazy?"

"He means well." Jane smiled and nodded. Clint and Natasha disappeared as quickly as they came. Steve leaned in to give her a hug before backing to the door.

"Would love to stay, but they've got us in training all day."

"Beat 'em all up for me."

"Will do."

Jane and Thor came to sit near her and start on their lunch just as the phone rang. Jane's expression went all business-like in a way Darcy instantly recognized. A call from Nick Fury, or one of his SHIELD operatives sending her another batch of orders as they were wont to do.

Thor frowned and Darcy rolled her eyes, knowing she'd wrap herself up in whatever they told her to do and probably forget about lunch entirely.

Needing a break, Darcy grabbed a little bread bun, cheese and grapes and headed out of the room to find a quiet place to sit and eat. Her trusty ipod was in her jeans pocket with all her favorite play lists loaded up. All she needed was space and quiet. Which was harder than you'd think to find around this base.

Outside of the spartan corridors and long winding stairwells that led down into the base, there were a few control rooms, doors that were locked to Darcy, a kitchen, a couple of common rooms and the downstairs gym where most of the Avengers got their workout in for the day.

Darcy avoided all those, the sound of weapons crashing and fists pounding audible even from one floor above. Instead, she took a little side stairwell she'd never been down before, figuring now was as good a time as any to explore. While she didn't have a security guard on her back telling her to keep to "her clearance area". Ugh.

The base was much bigger than it looked from the outside. She'd been getting lost wondering around it since it was set up nearly a month ago, and she'd still seen only a third of it all.

Her little ballet flats made a clanging sound as she descended the metal steps into what looked like another control room. Several suits glanced up at her with stern expressions.

"Sorry, wrong room, just leaving now…" Before they could usher her out, she backed away down another hallway, already lost in the winding corridor. Maintaining a sense of direction when every hallway looked exactly the same was proving to be difficult.

Several flat metal doors without handles lined this hallway, electronic pads near them indicating the need for a special badge to gain access. Moving beyond them, she pulled up to a smaller door that looked like it was a closet.

Curious, she pulled it open only to find another winding set of stairs down into a dark room.

No lights were on, and when she looked for a switch on the wall, her fingers found nothing but smooth steel. The place felt eerie somehow. When she stepped in, lights automatically flickered on above her to illuminate another long hallway, this one made from plain, solid concrete that led out onto a balcony. She couldn't see what it looked out onto, but it was quiet, and there was a bench.

Decided, she made her way down and onto the balcony as a large room opened up to her left. The floor was several floors below her, and the ceiling extended one or two floors higher. The glass balcony looked down onto a tall, circular pod of glass—the ruffling of clothing and his voice came in time with the realization that went off like alarm bells in her head.

"Midgardian."

Loki's prison.

Trust her to find this of all places.

She'd accidentally stumbled upon some strange viewing area looking out onto his glass cage. Around the cage was thin air, a drop of fifty feet or more with only a single platform connecting him to an area just below her.

When she took a moment to pull her eyes away from his stern expression, she noticed the blinking lights of security cameras, panes of glass from a control room opposite him and more security equipment. They weren't taking any risks.

"Come to taunt me?"

A shiver ran down her spine at the coldness in his eyes. Her immediate reaction was to back away and leave the way she'd come in. But that would make her seem weak. He'd think she was afraid. So she did the opposite.

"Not really." She tried to keep her voice as casual as she could while she sat on the bench overlooking him. His deep, vibrant green eyes never left her, and she prayed he wouldn't be able to notice the way her hands were shaking.

Big bad god with a brother complex who nearly wiped out her entire planet? No big deal.

"Just having lunch."

She pulled out her ipod, laid her food out across her lap and tried to push away thoughts of where she was with her 90s pop music.

After a moment she could feel herself relaxing. It was working. Digging in to the snacks she'd brought, she let her eyes fall shut as she enjoyed the music and leaned her back against the wall behind her.

/+/+/+/+/+/

Loki was dragged out of his dark thoughts by the footsteps of the little Midgardian companion of Thor's woman. Immediately, the all-too-familiar hatred, at himself and at Thor, rose up inside him. He'd assumed she'd come to gloat, as some of the Avengers had. To inspect him in his cage like a creature under a looking glass, curious and emotionless.

"Just having lunch."

The words baffled him. He'd expected a snappy retort or an insult. Or perhaps even pity, the worst of them all.

Instead, she acted as though he wasn't even there. The moment she'd put those little things in her ears, she'd started tapping her foot to whatever music she was listening to as she made short work of the food she'd brought.

She'd come near his cell. To have lunch.

Perhaps this was her way of mocking him, acting as though he wasn't even worth paying attention to. The thought riled him, and he yelled loud enough to startle her above the sound of her music.

"Midgardian!"

She pulled out the little earbuds with a frustrated sigh then glared over at him with large, mesmerizing blue eyes.

"What? Just had to interrupt the perfect song."

His frustration and irritation mounted.

"And by the way, my name's not Midgardian. It's Darcy."

"Your name is irrelevant."

"Not if you plan on talking to me it isn't."

She put the little earpieces back into her ears and deliberately turned her face away from him with a pout.

The little Midgardian was ignoring him.

Ordinarily, he'd toss her out of the room with his powers, or encase her in ice to push her away, but in the little box they'd carefully crafted for him, he was powerless.

The rage simmered as he watched her, growing and falling in a languid crescendo. She was engrossed in another food item she'd brought. She unwrapped it from a shiny foil wrapper—revealing a bar of chocolate—and gazed at it longingly before she took a bite. Savoring it. The way she ate it slowly, lovingly, was almost sinful to look at.

She was quite pretty, for a Midgardian. The fact that he'd even noticed elevated his frustration further.

He thought of whether she could be of any use to him. He was intimately familiar with all the security measures they'd placed on his prison, and getting past them would not be an easy feat.

Thor's woman was clever and highly educated. If somehow he could persuade or manipulate her, he might have a chance. But this one…

He watched as she pulled a pen out of her pocket, at the same time spilling the rest of the pocket's contents all over the floor.

He rolled his eyes. She wouldn't be of any use.

Determined to ignore her as well, he turned and was faced with the familiar concrete walls, metallic frame and glass windows he'd been encased in since they'd taken him prisoner.

He was growing all too familiar with the switches on the wall, the ridges in the concrete, and the patterns of light on the ceiling.

If they didn't make up their minds about him soon, he might just expire of boredom.

The thought again had his head turning to look at the woman who'd begun humming to her music. Just when his eyes found her face, she glanced up at him. Their eyes locked, those clear blue eyes arresting. He frowned at her, hoping to frighten her again, but instead she tilted her head. Her mannerisms reminded him of a cat.

She held his gaze a moment longer, her expression unreadable before glancing away again. He thought of speaking to her, of trying to gain her confidence somehow and find a way out of his prison.

His plan fell away as he saw her gathering her things and getting up to leave.

Before she stepped out of his view and back into the hall she'd come from, he called out to her.

"Darcy."

She didn't speak, merely turning to him with an expectant expression on her face, brows raised in question.

"Why did you come here?"

She shrugged her shoulders. As though coming down to his prison cell wasn't anything out of the usual.

"I wanted some peace and quiet to relax."

And before he could fully process her comment, she turned and left him alone.

All his life, he'd been mired in chaos. As a youth, he'd gone on any and all adventures Thor had thought to drag him on, and had secretly gotten into plenty of trouble all his own on top of it all. Growing up things had only gotten worse, until children's fights had given way to more serious quarrels. Even before the calm of Asgard had been destroyed and Thor had been banished, nothing around him had ever been calm.

And this little Midgardian had come to him for peace?

When he could not find such a thing inside of himself no matter how hard he tried?

The rest of the day until his eyes fell shut in slumber, the concrete walls and the glimmer of lights on the wall across from him went unnoticed. The little female puzzle kept his mind occupied for long after she'd left.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

/+/+/+/+/+/

Darcy had slowly been in the process of moving all of her and Jane's research into the SHIELD base in the desert and Jane had spent the better part of the previous week trying to convince Darcy to move herself into it too. The idea of being near Jane and working on their research 24/7 was just a little too much for her so despite Jane's protests, she kept her little apartment on the outskirts of the city and chose to drive to and from work every day.

At the moment, she was sorely regretting her decision.

She nearly tripped as she flew out the door, coffee, notes, laptop, and purse in hand. She'd slept through her first alarm and only woken on the second, making her desperately late for work. Jane didn't normally mind. She worked any and all hours and didn't keep to a strict schedule, so she'd always been pretty relaxed with whenever Darcy could make it in. Nick Fury and his agents however were another matter altogether.

To keep the salary that paid for her lovely little apartment, she couldn't afford to be late. And no matter how far out on the edge of town the apartment complex she lived in was, it was still a good half hour drive out to their facility.

Maybe Jane was right.

As she focused on the drive down to the base, her mind again drifted back to her odd little lunch break from the day before.

She'd been surprised, frankly, that she'd been able to accidentally stumble onto his prison at all. Considering all the security systems in place, she wouldn't have thought she would have found a way to gain access to him. Was it safe? This was SHIELD. It had to be.

SHIELD would spare no expense to ensure the world was safe from the likes of Loki. She reminded herself of that every time his cold green eyes flashed in her mind from the day before.

She'd seen all the security precautions they'd put in place herself; yet when he'd looked at her like that, he'd seemed far too close to comfort for her. As though he could reach right through the glass into her soul.

Shaking off the shiver that ran down her spine, she pushed him out of her mind.

She had more important things to do with her day, and not enough time to get started.

4 hours later

"Miss Lewis, what are your thoughts on the matter?"

Darcy had been midway through typing up Jane's latest notes into the computer when she was pulled away from her laptop by Thor. He'd been deep in conversation with Jane, Steve, and Bruce about what to do regarding Loki, and as Darcy had focused on her work she'd tried really really hard not to listen. She didn't want to be involved. She wasn't involved. This wasn't her fight. She wasn't an Avenger.

So when he drew her into the conversation, she contemplated the topic with a frown. Her gaze fell on Jane who leaned in to her for support, and she shrugged as she tried to seriously contemplate a situation so radically far out of her own experience she didn't even know where to start.

Thor was looking over at her with a pleading look, obviously wanting her support on whatever he'd suggested. He seemed to be the only person in the world still on Loki's side.

"What matter is this, exactly?"

Steve was seated to her left. He spoke up first, his face grim. "Thor wants to find a way to release Loki while restricting his magic."

"Which is a totally ridiculous idea," Bruce chimed in. "Magic or no, he'd only just start everything he tried to pull before all over again. Except now he knows us better, knows our weak spots."

"He isn't like that!"

Steve stepped in. "Actually Thor, I'm sorry but I think he is. You look at him and see the brother you grew up with, but we can see what he actually is. There's no way I would trust letting him out of this base."

Satisfied that Thor had forgotten about her and she didn't have to involve herself in their debate, Darcy put her headphones back into her ears. Her fingers hesitated on the play button of her ipod, leaving her in silence as she watched them argue without being able to hear them.

There was no question that Thor was far too generous when it came to his brother. His major soft spot for Loki was just another of his charming, perfect qualities.

But on the other hand, he was the only one here who truly knew Loki. Surely, beneath the icy exterior, there was something vaguely human underneath?

Again, her thoughts drifted back to the day before. It had been awkward, for sure, but he'd also seemed on edge, defensive. Like a wild animal who lashed out before anything else had a chance to attack it first.

The idea of Loki as a hedgehog popped into her head and had her stifling a giggle into her hands that halted the conversation.

All eyes were on her.

"Sorry, my bad. Funny song..."

Amid the weird looks she was more than used to by now, she stood up from the table and stepped into the back room.

All day she'd been trying to focus on her thesis and completely failing. What else could she do?

Okay, fine. So she wouldn't be able to put Loki from her mind today unless she went back to see him. To see for herself if he'd been as intimidating as she'd remembered. To finally push him out of her thoughts so she could focus.

To prove to herself that he wasn't all that impressive. He was just an evil man, nothing more or less than that. And she'd dealt with her share of them in the past.

No big deal.

"I'll let you guys wrap up, I'm going to get a snack."

Without looking back, she grabbed her bag with the little sandwich and salad she'd packed up in it earlier that morning and headed down the hallway hoping no one would follow.

After several steps in silence, she relaxed and studied the hallways around her trying to remember how to get back to the cell.

She'd stumbled on it by chance the day before, and her sense of direction as it was, she might never find it again today.

Taking a breath and starting her music back up, she looked for familiar arches, panels of metal along the sides of the hallway and the control room she'd passed the first time she'd come down this way.

When she pushed into the small door and was swallowed by the darkness from the tiny hallway from before, a different kind of nervousness flooded her.

She'd managed to find it again, but she wasn't sure she wanted to any more.

Did she really want to spend her lunch break in the company of a psychopathic liar? What was it that Thor saw in him?

That little thought bugging her was what had her walking into the hallway and down to the familiar bench from the day before.

She sensed the instant he noticed her presence, the feel of his dark green eyes on her back almost tangible.

She figured he would try to mock her again, to maintain power over her by trying to put her down, just as her mother's ex had tried to do so many times. Luckily, she'd learned her way around that and how to stand up for herself.

Steeling herself, she turned to look down at him.

His eyes were focused on her like a hawk, watching her every movement as she walked over to the bench, set her bag down and made herself comfortable. And for a split second, short enough that she'd almost thought she'd imagined it, he'd looked surprised.

The expression was gone as soon as it came, and his face settled back into the stoic frown she was familiar with.

Should she greet him? Should she ignore him again?

He took the choice from her as his voice broke the silence.

"You've returned."

His voice was flat and cold, but again she felt as though he'd wanted to ask a question rather than make a statement. Way to state the obvious. She wanted to snap back at him but somehow she didn't dare.

She didn't see Loki taking too well to her sarcasm. It flew over Thor's head most of the time, and she couldn't imagine Loki would fare any better.

He would probably just scoff at her 'Midgardian ways'.

She rolled her eyes and dug her sandwich out of her bag.

He didn't take his eyes away from her the entire time, which was unsettling to say the least.

As she began to eat, she returned her gaze to him, wanting to show him that she was not afraid or intimidated by him.

His brows furrowed as she began to eat. His eyes flashed from dark to light green as she could practically see dozens of thoughts running through his head. The intelligence there was the biggest difference, she realized, between him and Thor.

Sure, their appearances were practically polar opposites, but Thor's eyes were always warm, unguarded and friendly. Welcoming.

Something about the intelligence in Loki's eyes said 'I've thought of a thousand different ways I could kill you right now and I'm just hesitating on which one to pick.'

She couldn't take her eyes off him. Determined to hold her own against him, she deliberately studied him from head to toe, trying to keep her expression as casual as she could muster with the adrenaline currently coursing through her veins.

/+/+/+/+/+/

The little Midgardian, Darcy, held her stubborn chin high as she held his gaze with an unreadable expression on her face. Perhaps she'd come back to put on a brave face and try to act tough, knowing that no matter how scary he was, there was no way he could step outside his glass cage.

The thought only made him want to step over to her bench all the more.

She was a confusing little thing, and he was ashamed to admit that since she'd left yesterday, he'd thought of her more than once. It had only been a simple, short interaction but it still puzzled him.

When he spoke to her, she'd rolled her eyes, as though she hadn't been very impressed with what he'd said. It had been a mere statement of observation, not the question he'd wanted to ask, and he sensed that she knew it. The knowledge unnerved him. Few people saw through him so easily.

If she'd come to see him just to prove to herself that she was safe from him, then she could have simply left it at yesterday and been done with him. But she'd come back.

Why? And why was he glad that she had?

Her bold eyes held his gaze, then meandered down his form. She took her time with her stare, and suddenly his entire focus was riveted by the expression on her face.

It had started out inquisitive and stern, as though she was trying very hard to keep her frown exactly where it was, but as she took her time studying him, the façade fell away and a languid curiosity bordering on the seductive took its place.

Did she find him attractive? One side of him wanted to flush with pride and arrogance; of course she would be attracted to him, he came from gods and frost giants and was no match to the Midgardians of her usual acquaintance.

Another voice, the little one at the back of his head that had taunted him since as long as he could remember, carved a hole in his thoughts, letting doubt flood in through the cracks.

He'd never been truly wanted. Why would she be any different?

And then the rage came flooding back, so intense he saw dark spots in his vision, and fought to remain standing.

It was the rage Thanos had taken hold of, when Loki had been lost in the darkness for too long. The rage that had caused him to lose control.

He would not allow her to bring it out in him again.

Taking several harsh, deep breaths, he looked away. He tasted the defeat from the simple gesture, the taste of sulfur flooding his tongue.

When he glanced back, she was sitting and eating, staring at her food with the same unguarded fascination she'd afforded him only seconds before. She felt his eyes on him again, but when she looked back down at him, this time her expression was sheepish.

She motioned to his glass cage with a faint wave of her hands.

"I'm sorry, is this rude? I just thought to bring my lunch here, but you know…"

She waved her sandwich at him, and it dawned on him that she wanted to offer him food. The initial shock at her visit came back to him tenfold.

"They are feeding you here, right? I mean… you aren't hungry, are you?"

She truly didn't seem to know, and she cared about his welfare.

She'd all but offered him food.

Why would she care?

"Well, excuse me then. I won't mention it again."

He hadn't realized he'd uttered the words aloud until she answered him. Now he regretted them. She looked upset.

She deliberately turned away from him. He wanted to think of something to say, some way to apologize. The foolishness of his current train of thought hit him. Apologize? To a little Midgardian intruding on his privacy for her own amusement?

He wanted to pound on the glass, but he contained his frustration. Like his anger, jealousy and rage, they festered deep inside, rarely ever bubbling up to the surface.

He wanted her to leave.

"No, you know what? I will mention it again."

She pulled him out of his thoughts yet again, and he turned back towards her. She'd stood up, moving closer to him with one hip cocked to the side to assert her stance.

"Regardless of what you've done, I don't believe in torture. Have you been getting food?"

Her determined pout seemed to say she'd march right up to his captors and demand a meal for him if need be. For the first time since he'd been captured, a smile free of bitterness crept up on his face. He tamped it down instantly.

"I am being fed."

Her body relaxed, and she nibbled on her bottom lip as she contemplated the information. She didn't seem to be aware that the action made her lips fuller and richer in color. She was quite beautiful for a Midgardian.

"Well, good. That's good."

She sat back down on the chair and looked around the room awkwardly, her fingers picking at the food she'd left sitting on the bench beside her.

When she finished eating, she moved to pack up her things.

Suddenly the reason for her coming didn't matter as much. She was about to leave, and she might not come back. Midgardian or no, she'd been his only reprieve from boredom, Thor's obnoxious attempts at salvation and the questioning of the SHIELD operatives who liked to poke and prod at him whenever they could.

Having someone around who simply kept him company and cared whether or not he was hungry was different. Weak as he was, he wanted more.

"You work with Jane Foster."

She turned to him at his statement, her eyes flashing as her expression changed from relaxed to suspicious.

Wrong topic choice. She obviously assumed he was trying to obtain information, to find a way out or concoct any other plan.

The fact that he wasn't intending any of the above was not lost on him.

"I do."

He needed something neutral and safe to keep her talking.

"Do you like it?"

His first proper question. Those expressive eyes of hers lit up again as she gave it some thought. Trying to decide how honest she could be with him? As much as he didn't like it, he respected her caution. She was a smart woman.

"I didn't at first, but it's grown on me."

"You are a scientist like her?"

"A scientist? No, not at all. I'm more like an assistant, I help to keep her organized, to record everything and report stuff."

What else to ask a Midgardian he knew nothing about?

Silence hung in the air for another moment before she picked up her bag and turned away. Out of ideas, he had no choice but to ask.

"Will you come back?"

Her head tilted and her eyes flashed back to his with a glint.

"Maybe."

"Have lunch with me again."

This time, her face lit up in a wicked grin. Before he could ask what that meant, she was out the door and gone from his sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the support here, this is actually a story I started writing and sharing a while ago and wanted to post it here and try to finish it. Not sure how long it will be but I'm thinking around 25-30 chapters possibly? I hope you enjoy the ride!


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

/+/+/+/+/+/

The next day, she came back.

She was late this time, not coming around in the middle of the day as she had the previous two times. Loki had found himself glancing more than once at the digital clock across the room from his cage, before he turned and shook his head as though to shake her out of his thoughts.

He'd figured she'd decided against coming, having gotten bored with him. Yet when he heard the tiny door he couldn't see scrape open and heard light footsteps on the metal landing above him, he knew instantly that it was her.

He wasn't glad she'd come back. He felt drained.

Nick Fury had paid him a visit for most of the morning. While he hadn't set foot inside the cage or touched him in any way, spending hours in his company felt nothing short of torture. The military man had tried every cheap tactic he could think of to extract information from Loki.

What he didn't realize was that there was nothing Nick Fury could threaten him with that would frighten him. Nothing that could persuade him to give up the knowledge he kept buried inside of himself. And absolutely no reason to help a Midgardian.

He'd demanded more information on the aliens he'd guided to their planet, but there was no way Loki would reveal that information. No way he would speak of Thanos.

Thanos was true fear. Everything Loki hated and adored all at once. To reveal the depths he'd fallen to, to give up information about him would expose Loki in ways he could never allow.

No one could see the darkness inside him, the weakness he'd allowed Thanos to exploit.

So he'd stuck with his usual cutting silence and occasional sarcastic retorts until the man gave up for the day and left.

He was getting so tired of this.

"Hey," Darcy's shy greeting pulled him from his thoughts. She wasn't looking at him, but took a seat on the bench with her back against the wall and got herself situated.

He didn't have the energy to think about her, to puzzle her out.

He missed the darkness all of a sudden, its dark, quiet depths comforting, blanketing him against too much information that spun around in his head, contradicting thoughts that threatened to tear him apart.

No matter where he was, he was alone. At least in the darkness, no one could see his shame. No one would witness him suffer.

"Are you okay?"

Her voice sounded worried, and he caught her studying him again as he reluctantly turned to face her.

Why did it sound like she cared? It had to be some cruel game to her. Not for the first time, he felt like lashing out at her, releasing all of his anger and pain.

He glanced around his glass cage.

They'd padded it, with a small pallet to one side for him to sleep. His clothes were brown and plain without buttons, zippers or string of any kind.

So he wouldn't hurt himself.

Loki let out an ironic laugh.

"I don't know, why don't you tell me? What do I look like?"

His voice was bitter, tinged with malice as he lifted his hands around to motion his cage. She flinched at his tone, and nibbled her lip as she wouldn't take her eyes off him.

Damnit. He didn't need those clear, sharp eyes looking at him any longer.

She looked like she understood, and that infuriated him most of all.

She could never understand. She had no idea. If she had even an inkling of what he'd been through, she'd run screaming in the opposite direction.

A violent spike of anger tinged his vision red for a split second. He fought to remain standing as his body shook from the strength of it.

He couldn't stay locked up for much longer.

"You're angry." Her tone was puzzled. She was trying to figure him out.

"What a clever little woman you are."

Again, sarcasm dripped from his words, but this time she didn't recoil.

"Don't get all snippy with me. I only just got here so I know you can't be angry at me."

"That's where you'd be wrong."

"Oh really? And how have I managed to get on your nerves in the span of oh... 30 seconds? I'd love to know because that is a record, even for me."

She sat, impatiently waiting, glaring at him and tapping her foot. Expecting an answer.

He wasn't used to her tone. Few talked back to him in such a way. He expected hurt, anger, anything he had experience dealing with.

Instead, her expression was demanding, and slightly amused. She was making light of his mood. And somehow, instead of making it worse, the red slowly faded away and brought him back to reality.

"You wouldn't understand."

"Try me."

He didn't have to answer her. He could simply turn away. But that would feel like a defeat, and Loki would not be defeated by a slip of a woman centuries younger than him.

She was challenging him, and he had to win.

Before he had a chance to voice his biting reply, the sound of a door fizzing open interrupted him. The door on the lower deck, across from the platform to his cage was sliding slowly open, which could only mean another visitor.

He glanced up in panic at her, but she'd pulled back from the balcony so she was hidden from view.

He wanted to tell her to leave, but it was too late.

Thor stepped into the room, the familiar blend of love and pity that Loki had come to know so well etched across his face.

"Brother."

"Do not start with me. Will you not leave me in peace?"

Thor's expression turned disgruntled, the hope fading slightly from his eyes at Loki's cold tone.

"I will never give up on you Loki. You know that."

"Time will tell. We can only hope."

"Why do you wish me to give up on you so badly? We are family."

"No, actually, we aren't. Now, is that all?"

Loki felt his heart racing, felt the acid anger bubbling up from deep inside of him. He couldn't deal with Thor on the best of days, but now it was so much worse.

That Darcy should witness his humiliation was abhorrent. She could not be allowed to see how weak he really was, and if he knew Thor well enough, he would be all too keen to dig up every little secret he had to try and win him over.

The obstinate fool was stubborn as hell, and it was slowly suffocating him.

The image of Thor's face at the bifrost flashed through his mind, just before Loki had given in to the darkness and let himself fall into the black.

He wanted to see that expression again; his look of utter hopelessness, of defeat.

The hope in Thor's eyes was killing him more than he would ever know.

/+/+/+/+/+/

She'd been caught up in her thesis and actually getting some work done when she'd remembered that Loki had asked her to come back.

She hadn't planned to. Jane had bought them both lunch from a little Italian bistro outside of town on her way in, complete with Darcy's favorite ciabatta bread sandwich and the most delicious Caesar salad she'd ever tasted. Who could blame her for indulging?

But her curiosity combined with the fact that he, the proud, all-powerful Loki, had actually asked her, had her stepping away an hour earlier than she'd planned to leave to head down and see him.

She'd sensed something was off the moment she'd stepped onto the balcony.

He didn't turn to look at her, pacing inside his cage like a cornered animal. He looked worn, drained. She wasn't sure what to make of it.

She figured he'd be angry that she was late, but he barely responded to her greeting. Clearly, something else was on his mind.

It brought back her awareness of the fact that he was all but chained in this tiny room for however long SHIELD thought to keep him there.

Every time she'd looked at him, every time she'd thought of him, she'd seen his face in her mind's eye, standing in front of her.

She never pictured the cage in her mind, but it was always there.

"Are you okay?"

The moment he'd snapped back at her, she knew with absolute certainty that this wasn't about her at all.

No matter what kind of man he was, there was only so long you could cage anyone until they cracked.

It made her start thinking of things that up until now she'd deliberately put out of her mind. What did they put him through here? What was SHIELD doing with him? Did he know what they planned for him? She hadn't even dared to contemplate it, the thoughts seeming too dark and foreign to her, but he was forcing her to consider it now.

He was a master at masking his feelings, but even he couldn't seem to contain the rage that was flowing through him. She could see it in the crease of his brow, in the unsteady trembling of his hands.

Did he even realize how tightly he was clenching his fists?

Whatever the reason, he was suffering. Darcy couldn't stomach watching it.

She thought of leaving, but he was the one who'd asked her to come, and he needed some way to unleash everything he was bottling up so tightly. Was she the right person to help him do that?

Why would she help him at all?

His face turned to her, all the bitterness, pain, and frustration clear as crystal in his dark green eyes. He looked as though he'd been about to say something, but the sound of a door below her opening nearly made her jump.

Whoever it was, she couldn't let them know she was here. She had no idea how much trouble she would be in, but she wasn't about to find out.

As quietly as she could, she yanked her backpack to her chest and leaned back into the shadows so whoever was on the floor below couldn't see her.

She recognized Thor's voice a moment later, and cussed under her breath as she wished herself to be anywhere else in the world but here.

It felt wrong, she was intruding, but there was no way she could leave now without making her presence known and making the situation even worse. She was stuck where she was, unable to get up without stepping out in front of the bench where Thor would undoubtedly see her.

So she held a hand to her forehead, brow scrunched up and eyes firmly shut as she tried to breathe as quietly as she possibly could.

As she focused on keeping herself concealed, she found herself listening to their exchange with rapt fascination.

"I know you insist on not caring, but I am working with SHIELD to free you from here."

"Crafting another pretty little collar to put around my neck? Another leash to tame me with?"

"No! I do not wish for that. If you could just prove that you do not intend harm, then perhaps there is something-"

"-And if I can't?"

Thor's sigh echoed throughout the room.

"Loki, is this truly where you wish to remain for the rest of your life?"

"They cannot hold me forever."

The room fell silent, and while she couldn't see either of them, she felt the tangible tension in the room.

"You truly do not care about your future?"

"What I care about is none of your concern."

"Loki…"

She heard the sound of fabric as Loki must have stepped across his padded cage.

"If I could have saved you that day, I would have done anything-"

"-Do not SPEAK of it."

Loki's low, controlled tone broke as he raised his voice ever so slightly. Thor had obviously hit a nerve, though what they were talking about she hadn't the faintest clue.

"You do not know what awaits in the darkness, of what is beyond the bifrost..."

"Then tell me."

Loki's harsh laugh grated out of his chest, sending a shiver down Darcy's spine.

"You wouldn't comprehend the ache, the pain that eats you from the inside out… you will never understand a world so black it chokes you."

"I wish to know. I wish to help you."

"No, you don't! You have your worlds, your freedom. You want to see me suffer."

"No! Never!"

"Then let them kill me! Let them take their revenge."

"You can't mean that. I won't believe you mean that."

"Then you will never understand."

Another shuffle sounded. Thor's footsteps clanged on the metal walkway.

"Loki…"

When his brother didn't reply, she heard Thor's large, rumbling steps cross the walkway back towards the door.

"I will not give up."

Darcy waited until she heard the sound of the door closing before she let out the breath she'd been holding.

Intense was the only word she could think of to describe it. There was so much emotion, so much more than the words they'd exchanged and their conversation nearly broke her heart.

"Satisfied? Have you seen all you wished to see?"

Sarcastic Loki was back, biting at her as she sat back up on the bench and faced him.

He was being deliberately cruel, but it no longer fazed her.

She saw too easily past his cover to all the hurt he kept hidden from the world.

That was when it hit her. He'd wanted to die.

Whatever had happened between them, and whatever had transpired in Asgard, Loki had wanted death more than he'd wanted to live.

She recognized the signs. Everyone around her friend Kathy had swept them away like cobwebs assuming that she'd simply get over it and be perfectly fine given enough time. Everyone had ignored it until she'd been found hanging from her living room ceiling.

Somehow, that desire had been at the center of whatever he'd tried to do to their planet. She didn't know how, why, or what had transpired, but she knew it with a certainty.

If he couldn't move beyond that on his own, then Thor had no hope of saving him. None of them did.

Unsure of how to deal with that, she could only think of one thing to do.

"I have to go."

And this time, he knew with absolute certainty she wouldn't be coming back.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

/+/+/+/+/+/

The fluorescent light flickered off and on again above the desk for the fifth and final time before Dr. Jane Foster pushed up off her desk in a huff, stalked across the room to turn it off, and flipped on the switch for the tiny desk light in front of her instead.

"Y'know, a little warning would be nice."

Darcy sat in front of her notepad, plunged in complete darkness as she'd been squinting and struggling to make sense of Jane's latest scribbled notes.

Jane was working harder than ever these days, and making more progress, with Thor's help, than they ever had in the past—which meant Darcy had to work twice as hard to decipher her hastily scribbled calculations so she could type them up and record them.

"Oh, sorry. I got a little caught up, and that was driving me crazy." She sighed and rubbed her forehead as she raised her light up to try to illuminate the rest of the room.

It was better, but not by much. Darcy gave up and put the notepad on the desk, leaning back in her chair and looking up at the flickering light.

"Do you think you could look into changing the bulb or something? I don't think I can work with that."

With a mumbled assent, Darcy stood and moved to head out in search of one of the many agents that ran around the building. As her hand touched the doorframe, Jane's voice stopped her.

"Hey, Darcy?"

"Hmm?"

When Jane didn't speak for a moment, Darcy turned to look at her. Jane had risen, and stood facing Darcy with a calculated look.

"Are you okay?"

"What? Of course I am, why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know. You just seem a little distracted…."

"Don't I always?"

Darcy tried to maintain her playful façade, but Jane had known her long enough that she could see right through it.

"I get it."

Slightly taken aback, Darcy's eyes narrowed. "You do?" There was no way she could have an inkling of the turn of her thoughts.

"Yeah, well, I think I get it. At least part of it. I know this whole move here has been really stressful, and I didn't really mean to bring you into the heart of everything here…"

"Things have been a little crazy. It wasn't as if we had much of a choice."

"I know, but still… I really appreciate your help."

"I know." Darcy smiled, content that she had someone as brilliant and kind as Jane on her side. "I'm happy to do it."

And as she left, Darcy realized she honestly was.

If someone had asked her a year ago whether she wanted to be mixed up deep in confidential government secrets in a building that to a civilian wasn't even on the map, she'd have said hell no and run as fast as she could in the opposite direction.

But the past year's events and Thor's arrival had made her realize just how tiny the bubble was that she'd been living in, and she wanted to know more. Even if said 'more' wasn't always pleasant.

Which brought her thoughts back to the dark, brooding man currently locked up in a glass cage.

She knew what he'd nearly done to the city of New York, and she'd seen his anger and bitterness firsthand. Yet she couldn't get over what had to be under the surface, and her thoughts kept telling her that there was something more there, if she could only convince him to open up.

Ironically, it was part of the reason she'd gotten into poli-sci in the first place. Buried somewhere beneath the dull, dreary political language and recycled rhetoric, the real issues were buried, and she'd liked the adventure of digging into them, uncovering them and figuring them out.

Everyone at SHIELD saw everything so black and white, enemy or friend. There was no in between. Yet the world was full of a myriad of colors, and something told her Loki would be far more valuable as an ally.

She wasn't sure where the thoughts and the curiosity came from. She wasn't even sure he'd want to see her again.

Things had been awkward to say the least, and as much as she wanted to know more about him, she didn't feel comfortable delving into his personal issues, especially not unless he allowed her to.

So she skipped visiting him the day before, today, and had no plans to see him the next day.

After all, what could she say?

Darcy made her way down the hall to the nearby storage where spare bits and pieces were kept from Jane's research and combed quickly through the piles of boxes until she found a spare fluorescent bulb. Hoping it would work, she closed the storeroom door with a code on the keypad and headed back to Jane's lab.

When she entered, the room was quiet. She glanced around for Jane, but found no sign of her.

Must have taken a coffee break.

Shrugging her shoulders, she moved the nearest chair underneath the light and stood on it, getting to work switching out the bulb.

Once she'd pulled out the old, she stepped down and grabbed the bulb she'd found and inserted it. Crossing the room, she flipped the light switch on only to be met with… nothing.

Evidently, they'd brought along a used up light bulb.

Sighing in frustration, she moved back to the chair and stepped up to take the faulty bulb out. The office door opened and closed behind her.

"Hey Jane, still working on this…"

"Miss Lewis." Thor's voice startled her, and just as she'd been about to step back off the chair, she stumbled and came careening down hard on the floor, smack on her butt.

"Miss Lewis! Are you alright?"

He rushed over to help her, but by that time it was too late. She winced at the bruise that was surely forming as she stood.

"I'm fine. All in one piece…"

"I'm sorry. I did not mean to startle you."

"Oh, you're all right." The day just kept getting better and better. Rubbing her bruised rear, she set the bulb on the desk.

"I convinced Jane to take a break for food. She told me to ask you to join her. Are you sure you are alright?"

Darcy shook off her grumpiness as she looked up at the towering thunder god. Jane frequently worked so hard she skipped meals altogether. Normally Darcy reminded her to take a break, but she'd forgotten today. A spike of guilt ran through her. She'd been so wrapped up in her thoughts she hadn't paid attention to the time. Forcing a smile on her face, she looked up at him.

"Totally fine, only a little bruise. Tell her I'll join her in a minute."

"I can wait, and accompany you."

Despite having been here for months now, he still was more formal than ever. The only person he called by their first name was Jane, which was somehow ridiculously adorable. She tried to convince him to leave her and go on ahead, but he wasn't having any of it.

He could be almost as stubborn as Loki when he wanted to be.

After she righted herself, she motioned to him.

"All set. Lead the way."

He stepped ahead of her, always checking around corners as though at any moment, he expected an enemy to strike at him from out of the darkness. His vigilance set her a little on edge, but she pushed down the feelings and decided to move on to safe small talk.

"How is your day going?"

He took a moment to consider the question, instead of responding with the common platitudes most people resorted to.

"It is a bit frustrating."

"Oh?" Now she was regretting her question. She didn't want to pry, not after what she'd heard. He was oblivious, but she still couldn't help but feel slightly awkward around him.

"Nick Fury refuses to grant my brother clemency of any kind."

"Ah." Exactly the subject she didn't want to talk about.

"I am running out of ideas to persuade him."

"I see."

"Do you agree with the others, about what should be done with him?"

"Ah…" Floundering, in search of another topic of conversation, she struggled to answer. "I'm sure they have reasons for their ways of thinking..."

"I know. I cannot blame them. But surely not everyone shares those thoughts. Do you? Can you only see my brother as a criminal?"

"Thor, I hardly know him."

"And that is what matters. Perhaps if I can convince them to try to know him, if I can convince him to let them, then they can see that he is not their enemy. Not truly."

Darcy's heart went out to him. It didn't matter what kind of a man Loki was. Thor wanted so hard to believe that his brother was good that nothing would deter him from it.

As they walked, they passed another control room, this one empty and overlooking the main rec room they frequently gathered in for meals. There was a bathroom to one side, and Darcy saw it as her escape.

"Thor, hang on I just need a moment. I'll meet you down there, okay?"

Before he could answer, she stepped inside and down into the restroom.

When she pulled the door closed behind her, she let out a little laugh at her ridiculous behavior. She'd just been thinking that she was glad she was here, and that she wanted to help, but when confronted with questions like Thor's, she couldn't help but run in the opposite direction.

Having the fate of someone else's life hang in her hands was too much to ask. To know that her opinion of him might sway a decision of whether he lived or died was far too much power. She couldn't deal with that. She could never live with herself if she affected the decision in any way.

So she waited five minutes, hoping he would leave and she could follow. Or maybe she'd just return to the lab. She wasn't feeling particularly hungry at the moment.

After several long moments that had to be at least five minutes, she stepped out. Her shoulders fell as she saw Thor standing beside one of the computer panels, clearly waiting for her.

"You didn't have to wait. I know the way."

"I do not mind."

He didn't take his eyes off the window that looked down onto the rec room. Even from up here, he kept an eye on Jane, his face loving and watchful all at once. Jane sat downstairs with her snack, chatting with Natasha and looking relaxed and lovely as always.

"Shall we join her?"

He rose from his position against the wall and moved toward her.

"Am I doing the wrong thing?"

He leveled such a severe, serious look at her that she couldn't turn away.

Her tone was low and quiet when she spoke.

"You are fighting for your brother. It's a good thing."

"It doesn't feel like it. He is angry at me for doing it."

It wasn't like Thor to sound so dejected. Unsure how to proceed, Darcy stepped closer to the monitor panel beside him. The SHIELD emblem flashed across the screen as a screensaver, a constant reminder of where they were and what they were doing.

Hundreds of questions flooded Darcy's mind, things she was dying to know about Loki, things she'd never dare to ask. Before she could sort all her thoughts out in her head, she blurted out the first that came to mind:

"What happened, between you two?"

Thor hung his head low, the pain on his face almost too much to look at. "I wasn't able to save him… He needed my help and I couldn't protect him…"

"Hmm..." Darcy stepped ahead of him, oblivious to his inquisitive look at her. She continued studying the control room, the whole series of flashing numbers and blinking lights completely foreign to her. It was beautiful, in its own way, when you didn't know that you were looking at something so deadly.

Her thoughts turned inwards, and her look became more pensive.

"What are you thinking of?"

She glanced up at him, again reminded of his height. The thought only served as a reminder of how different they were, from two completely different worlds.

"Oh, it's not important."

"What is it?" His tone was firmer, but still gentle, his face pleading.

Her head tilted as she studied him, wondering whether or not to share the thoughts running through her head.

Unable to resist his puppy-dog face, she replied: "It was a random thought really. When you talk about Loki, sometimes it sounds as though you're talking about a pet that you take care of."

"A pet?" His puzzled look prompted her onwards, into territory she wasn't sure she should be venturing. Still, she was always one to jump first, ask questions later.

"Well, you protect him, you help him, your family took him in. Whatever he does, you accept as your responsibility. What decisions has he made on his own? When has he done something, independent from you?"

Thor thought back to before, to their childhood and up until the moment he'd felt the rift between the two of them tear wide open. He'd always pushed and pulled Loki into whatever he'd wanted to do. When Loki had tried to do something on his own, Thor had stopped him or taken over. And their father. He'd always been king, but more than that, he'd watched over every decision, every step the two of them had ever made.

Loki had tricked and connived to get his way, but it never lasted long before Thor or Odin himself took over whatever it was they were doing. Loki was underhanded, because when he spoke openly he wasn't heard.

A horrible thought struck him. The one time Loki had made a decision on his own, completely against Thor's wishes, had been at the bifrost. The one time Thor hadn't been able to make him do what he'd wanted. He'd let go.

He'd tried to control him, to guard him and protect him for so long that he'd driven him nearly to the edge. It was no wonder he'd turned to a creature that gave him all the control he'd been longing for.

The thought sent him reeling. He turned to look at Darcy, little fey creature that she was, and wondered how she could so clearly see what he had missed for so long.

Oblivious to his momentous realization, she turned back to the control room.

His voice cracked when he first tried to speak, and he had to clear his voice before he tried again: "You are right."

"About what?"

"I know what to do."

"Oh. Good." She looked satisfied when he changed the subject and led them down to the rec room. Once there, he bid her goodbye and greeted Jane with a heartfelt kiss, but did not stay long before he set out to find Nick Fury.

Darcy was right, and it was time he acknowledged what Loki had been trying to tell him for so long.

It was time to let him go.


End file.
